“…….AND THIS IS WHAT’S SO DANGEROUS ABOUT A SOCIETY THAT CODDLES ITSELF MORE AND MORE FROM THE INEVITABLE DISCOMFORTS OF LIFE: WE LOSE THE BENEFITS OF EXPERIENCING HEALTHY DOSES OF PAIN, A LOSS THAT DISCONNECTS US FROM THE REALITY OF THE WORLD AROUND US.”
It’s been a while since I got my hands on a self-help book. I eventually figured out they are always overselling. So, I quit. This book was actually recommended by a friend who wouldn’t shut up about it. As a result, I let my curiosity get the best of me. I’m glad it did. I consider it a gift when someone tells me something that I subconsciously know, but yet still feel like I am having a revelation. That’s exactly what happened to me while reading this book.
This is not your typical self-help book. It’s not about not giving fucks at all, as the title would suggest. Instead, the author helps us navigate on how and when to choose between giving a fuck and when to have zero fucks to give. I particularly love how the author challenges the standard advice and recipes prescribed in most of the self-help books to achieve happiness and success. He not only encourages us to reevaluate our individual values but to also doubt our instincts and start caring about things that actually matter.
While I’d love to go on and on about the book, I’m going to give 5 takeaways I got from the book;
- Hi Everyone, meet the disappointment Panda! This Panda basically tells one brutally honest truths about themselves so that we can face our fears once and for all. I’m listening to Panda more often now as; I know problems and pain are an inherent part of human nature. It’s however up to me to create and hope for good problems in pursuit of happiness.
- Life’s a struggle too. Let’s not limit it to the high moments. We live in times when the high moments in life are constantly flaunted right in front of us, from one social media to another. That’s what brings eyeballs, and the eyeballs equal money. Very few people dare take group photos or selfies documenting their actual life struggles. The truth is life is not all about high moments, most of the time it’s about loving the struggle, the hard work that comes with any dream worth chasing, anything worth working for and for me most of my best memories are a result of these struggles.
- Extraordinary as the new normal, OR NOT. We always have this ‘belief’ in our society that we should all strive to be extraordinary. It’s what we’ve been told and it’s the only thing we know. It’s what we see every day, and suddenly it’s the new normal. You are not special, and it’s absolutely okay to go about living your ordinary life that sucks often.
- We are always wrong. Just like Jon Snow, we know nothing. Growth, I believe, is an endless iterative process. Our brains are designed to be efficient and not accurate. Consequently, one; once we create meaning for ourselves our brains are designed to hold on to that meaning and don’t want to let it go. Even if we see evidence that contradicts the meaning we created, we often ignore it and keep believing anyway and two; The brain makes mistakes. Accepting that we are wrong creates room for uncertainty which in turn creates room for more learning and other opportunities in life.
- Power of personal values. What drives you? What do you believe in? Know and understand your values. Know what you care about, why and who. Stick to it, even when no one understands. Work hard to leave the legacy YOU care about. Be a human being. And … don’t give a fuck about all the rest.And? Love! Live! Soar!